"See, I don't always have that luxury. . .
I don't get to play with his fingers while our hands are clasped together,
or mess up his hair because it looks soft.
I can't feel the shape of my body mold perfectly with his in a hug,
or feel his slightly chapped lips kiss my cheek when I do something silly,
or even steal his glasses, hoping he'll chase me around to get them back.
I can't hear his heartbeat when I lay on him,
or smell him whenever we fall asleep on each other.
I don't get to see him look me in the eyes when we talk face-to-face,
or compare our heights side-by-side in the mirror,
or have him try on my clothes to find that they're way too small and girly.
I can't look at him from a side profile while we watch TV,
or watch him make us a snack at midnight.

Instead, I have to look at my camera, and not those ever changing blue, green, and grey eyes.
Instead, I think about him while I walk my school halls and wonder what his weather is like.
Instead, I have to touch and hold my own hands where his would be.
Instead, I have to cry into the hoodie I stole that only has a drop of his scent left on it.
Instead, I spend my time online finding the cheapest plane ticket to go see him.
Instead, I stay up until 2:17 in the morning because I find myself missing his lips.
Instead, I dream of the day we can be together without 650+ miles between us.

I knew this pain would be here,
I knew it would haunt me.
And I knew it would hurt like my soul was being torn into a thousand pieces,
and my heart was bleeding onto my skin from the inside out.
And I knew that when things go wrong back at home, we won't always be there to hold the other.
But if this is what it takes to be with the person who makes me want to wake up to see the sun shine again,
if this is what it takes to be with the man that makes me want to live when I wanted to be thrown in a box with the oxygen off,
if this is what it takes to be with the one who showed me that love wasn't dead,
and pulled me out when I was trapped in my thoughts,
to feel what true love is?
oh I'll do it all. . . for him and me.

You know?"