Its one of those days
When darkness consumes my mind
Taking control of my limbs making it press this knife against my throat
On the floor sobbing
Don’t ask me why it was today because I don’t know
Don’t know why my mind chose the middle of the afternoon to say it wants to die
It just did
Tell me how do I explain that to anybody
That nothing triggered me
It came out of nowhere
Like it was hiding in the shadows waiting for the perfect moment to strike
I couldn’t do it though
Because it hurt
But the miniscule pain gave off temporary relief
It gave me a sense of power
One that I didn’t have over my life
But once my episode is over I get scared
Scared that one day I’ll have enough courage to not just press
But stab