It is only fair that
I should warn you...
In person
I am quite out spoken
Stern and sure in my
Liberal values

With a smile
And a wink in my caring eye
I would love to sell you
Your greatest passions
Your greatest pleasures
If you can't afford
We can negotiate
Trust me
I aim to accommodate

So...
If you are curious
Roll those bones
Award yourself
Answer the phone
Or
Take the blue pill
And
Wake up in bed
Fearing I maybe
A dealer of dread

But my name is my word
Integrity bound
And I have
The best stuff to sell around...