she can’t breathe         she can’t          breathe
                 her lungs have collapsed and
i’m left wondering
                          why it can’t be me         instead
i’m submerged in a pit of mud and      
                       i know i can never fully become clean again
god          she doesn’t          deserve this
           a soul is as fragile as a dove and
                               i’m not ready for her to take flight        
      please        not yet
she’s left there         exposed scalp      weightless
                                    as though gravity has abandoned her
            her body decays slowly     steadily    
from the cancer in her blood
                      and i can feel the blood trickle through my veins          
             to my toes          i can’t feel anything and
                   i think i’m selfish for realizing this
her life span sliced in half by a jagged blade
                              i feel as if the tip of it skimmed my heart
        i’m plagued with a sorrow so intense      
i could crumble     every     mountain
                                  with a single clenched fist
i can’t breathe         i can’t         breathe