I didn't think things would turn out this way.
One day, I decided to cut out sweets.
A simple idea turned sour,
Running away from my problems gave me power
And I did it.
Five kilometres every day,
Followed by constant calorie counting.
The numbers were running through my head,
Until I struggled to get out of bed.
I stood up too fast,
And my world started spinning round and round
Until I hit the cold, hard ground.
The feeling of lightness became euphoric.
Challenging the scales,
Determined not to fail;
It was a wrong kind of rush to have.
The voices wouldn't leave.
Telling me all kinds of bad things like a high-school bully on repeat.
I started lying about what I had eaten to please my family.
Exercising like a deranged athlete.
Hopping around in my room without anyone knowing.
Starving myself to feel complete.
I was paper thin with a faint heart-beat.