oh how often i stay awake
laying in bed staring at the ceiling
my sister painted for me
when i was
7 years old.

things were different then
my life wasn't cluttered with
catastrophe and agony
as i dealt with everything around me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

back again in the same spot as before
my head swims parallel to the ocean floor
as i sit in my room
my thoughts are emptied
and my heart is filled with gloom

my uncle, the man that taught me so much
had passed away from a heart attack on his living room couch
i briefly denied the fact he was dead
he couldn't - he wouldn't - it made no sense in my head
i could have been with him but rather instead
i cried for him in his hospital bed
to wake up

these dark sparked remarks
leave my brain spotted with questions
i answer them quietly as i reflect against my past
when a small unknown sound
shatters the silence in my room
it clatters and pit patters resonating my mind's tomb

my heart has fallen through the floor
and my empty thoughts are no more