My heart was pounding Why was I so nervous? Why was I so scared? It's just you. The friend I held so close, loved so dear. The one I miss the most I can't even tell why my heart was pounding Excitement? Paranoia? .... longing?.... I don't even know Part of me doesn't even want to But maybe its because... We just aren't as close as we were When you.... did what you did Made that choice... Everything changed.. Everything from you... Felt so... different More distant Even before that you were becoming more distant. When everything had to go through him... You stopped being close At least... it felt like it I felt like I was put second to everything... And I still do sometimes You go behind his back for me But.. for how long? I was so happy when we talked.. i was Because I miss you so much But I had so much in my head... I couldn't think of what to say. Because I don't know how to say it anymore... I'm still that same boy you held so dear I'm just.... Very closed off now