i dreamed of a boy
with eyes as blue as the pool we swam in.
and his soft blond hair—
he looked just like me, if i had been born normal.

i kissed him hard, hard enough to bruise,
hard enough to make him gasp—
he pulled away and whispered
“i’ve never been kissed like i was being punched.”

and i looked in our pool-blue eyes
and i pet our soft blond hair
and with a whispered apology i leaned in to kiss him again,
gentle this time.