"there is this mystery about me"

I wear two layers of skin
to protect myself
from the taints of his hand
on my curve-less
silky skin.

The thickness of my skin
is not just food
it’s a mixture of
pain and fear.

Fear of being touched
forced me
to hide the real me
and paint myself
in dark colours.

The fat I wear
is not a mistake
it’s my choice.

When he touched me
he told me
“don’t tease me by being beautiful”
so I decided beautiful isn’t
meant for me.

I covered myself
with a layer of doubt
then I wrapped up
a layer of dust
along with a layer of
self doubt and fat.

And this all
turned me
into a chubby
undesirable person.