Monday.

I find myself waking up.
With the intent.
Of it just being another day.
But once I go out.
My eyes fall upon you.
& for the first time.
In four long years.
Your eyes fall upon me.
In a way that freezes me.
Where I can barely stand.
In a way that consoles me.
Where I can hardly breathe.
In a way that moves me.
Right to where you are.
& where you are.
Is a place.
Where I find myself.
Always wanting to be.
Because the way you walk.
I will always follow.
Because the way you talk.
Will always be heard.
Because the fragrance you spray.
Will always be appealing.
& appealing to me you are.
& always have been.



Tuesday.

I find myself waking up.
Replaying a dream.
Over & over.
In my head.
A simple dream.
Where the sun is shining.
The birds are chirping.
The flowers are blooming.
& my love for you is showing.
But I'm afraid to speak it.
I'm afraid to have it heard.
By those beautiful ears of yours.
Because its my secret.
One I find so dear.
One I hold so close.
To my heart that beats for you.
Wishing one day.
It could beat for us.
But I say it anyway.
Because all I keep thinking.
Is what's life without love?
What's love without you?
& the answer I receive.
Is one I cannot accept.
Because my life is you.
& I love every bit of my life.
Dream or no dream.



Wednesday.

I find myself waking up.
To meet you at a coffee shop.
You're heavy on the sugar.
But there doesn't seem to be.
Anything sweet about your life.
Or better yet said.
You don't see anything sweet.
About your own life.
Because you're cautious with your speech.
You're picky with your people.
You're harmful to your heart.
& you're partial with me.
I would like to save you.
From the very essence.
That is you.
Because the you that I see.
Is who I believe.
You're meant to be.
So you can tell me you hate me.
You can push me away.
Just as long as you know.
That my love for you.
Is here to stay.



Thursday.

I find myself waking up.
With you right next to me.
Half clothed.
Lips half parted.
With your curly dark hair.
I can't bring myself to wake you.
Cause that just means.
The moments at its end.
& from the moment you kissed me.
Which made me lead you to this bed.
Where I shared heavy breaths with you.
Where you shared nail marks with me.
Where we shared our humanity.
I can't bring myself.
To have this end.
Because I didn't ask you to leave.
I didn't not hold you close.
I just watched you sleep.
Until the curtains on my eyes.
Finally decided to close.
Where I dreamt a dream.
Of us being together.
Even after the curtains of our life.
Decided to close.



Friday.

I find myself waking up.
With the impression of your body.
On the right side of the bed.
Where you should be.
Your scent.
Is something you left behind.
But as for a note.
A simple goodbye.
That seems to be missing.
Following you.
Right through the door.
& for someone like me.
Who is accustomed.
To being the one missing.
To being the one to not say goodbye.
To being the one whose text replies are short.
It kills me to receive.
Each one you send back.
Because I'm not a stranger.
I'm not suffocating you.
& I am the same.
As I was on Monday.
So tell me why.
You create distance.
Tell me why.
You define enough.
By looking into ***.
& multiplying your past.
To produce an answer.
That I am not even a part of.
But in your eyes I have to be.
Because how could I.
Just love you for you.
When no one else could.



Saturday.

I find myself waking up.
To find myself growing up.
To find myself being enough.
Enough to be toe to toe.
Ear to ear.
Eye to eye.
Face to face.
With you.
Telling you everything.
That I have been wanting to say.
Needing to say.
For four long years.
& I know.
You may not believe me.
You may still walk away.
But here & now.
I'm leaving it all in the air.
Giving it all on this floor.
So when you do choose.
I know I said everything I could.
I know I told you everything I felt.
I know there was nothing else.
That I could do.
Or could have said.
So here I am.
Fighting for you.
Not just because I love you.
But because I need you.
Because you are my savior.
When no one else could be.
My entire life.
I've never felt that feeling.
That I felt with you after ***.
When a man is the most honest.
Those fifteen to twenty seconds.
When everything is done.
You are the only one.
That I wanted to stay.
That I needed to hold.
That I felt for.
Felt for way more than just physical.
Felt for way more than just emotional.
I just felt love.
The purist form.
What God intended.
That it should be.
& not what everyone else.
Says love should be.
I can't promise you.
That I won't upset you.
That I won't make you mad.
But I can promise you.
That I will love you everyday.
No matter if you are sick.
Or annoyed.
Without makeup on.
& everyday I will fight for you.
Being your knight in shining armor.
Saving you.
From strangers.
From friends.
From family.
& mostly yourself.
So that you can be.
The princess you're supposed to be.



Sunday.

I find myself waking up.
To an empty bed.
To no texts.
& no calls.
So I find some clothes.
Lace my shoes.
With the intent.
Of it just being another day.
Because in all it is.
I said what I said.
I did all I could.
I am in love with a girl.
Who doesn't love herself enough.
To believe anyone else can.
I walk the streets.
Going to all the places.
That I think she might be.
But I only find my thoughts.
& they accompany me.
Through the rest of the day.
Until I unlace my shoes.
& get rid of my clothes.
Do I hear a knock at my door.
You stand in sweats.
& your hair is a mess.
You tell me you love me.
But that you aren't what I need.
You wish you could be.
Because you believe.
In someone like me.
You thank me for everything.
& go to turn to leave.
But I just can't let you leave.
Because this home.
Is big enough.
For the both of us.
& my heart.
Is patient enough.
For your love to mature.
So don't say no.
Just say you'll try.
Because I can't go another morning.
Finding myself.
Waking up alone.