And she’s breaking down, because she is forgetting what it feels like to remember.
And that is what truly terrifies her. That one day she’ll wake up and she won’t remember what your laugh sounds like or the safety your arms provided when she was in your embrace. One day she’ll forget your jokes or the way you always told her how happy you were to see her. One day she won’t be able to recall the advice you gave her or the teasing remarks you made about all of her “boyfriends”. She used to dread the day that would come when you would no longer pick up the phone and all your conversations would have to be one sided. But, despite all of her prayers that day has passed. And just like the last, try as she might, she cannot stop what’s coming, and it feels as if her heart is breaking all over again. She’s trying to hold on to her memories but she can feel them slowly starting to slip from her grasp one by one and she terrified of the day they’re all gone. Because if she can no longer have you, your memories are all she has left and she cannot have those ripped away too.
She is forgetting what it feels like to remember.