i didn’t think it through
i didn’t think that the cuts would be so noticeable
that i would feel ashamed
that i would have to hide them
that i wouldn’t be able to roll up my sleeves
that i would start holding my arms in different places
that whenever i was wearing a short sleeved shirt i would think about my scars
i didn’t think it would take so much effort to stay clean
that there would be no temptation