I wasn’t strong enough to go on
I guess you could say he finally won.
Everything reminds me of him
no matter what I do to forget.

Sometimes I see him, in the little smile
given to me by guys I meet every mile.
He lies in the dreams I have
leaving me startled and cold upon wake.

Sometimes I feel him, in every hug
that makes me want to run.
My skin is left with pin ******
as a present from these *****.

Thank god I can’t remember his smell
or else it would put me through hell.
One thing I’m glad for is when the senses
begin to dull after years out of the hole.

Blaming myself, easy to do in this case
easy to blame such a waste of space.
My thoughts are skewed
by the foggy memories of the past.

“He has done no wrong” so they say
“if it was bad, why did you stay?”
Why? I still ask myself to this day
it felt wrong but I thought it was just me.

Sacrifice everything for your lover
as it was taught from one to another.
Yet don’t know what to do
when the one you love won’t care for you.