I miss the illness;
the sleepless nights.
The terrible fears;
the endless fights.

Overcome by drowsy
aches and sadness.
Complimented by
manic madness.

Shaking in terror
but no clue why.
Holding my breath
no room for a sigh.

The days were hellish,
long and gray.
Yet I yearn
for one more day.
Why do I wish
to be that way?

When all it brought
was hurt and pain.
Does longing for more
make me insane?