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Feb 2018
Months after his passing
I was broken, beat, and bruised
I don't know what to feel
As I sat in silence in a dark room

Demons haunt me
I hear their voices
Life in general was pointless
So I thought suicide was the option

Sleepless nights
Heavy thinking
I hear my demons over and over again
No point in living anymore

Death has found me
And it wants me to take my life as I broke down
I see shadows of my past
With a hint of blood

I've seen my own shadows
They walk in dark pastures
As they head to the Valley of Shadow of Death
My eyes are set to close as I breathed heavily

Until one day
There was a light of hope gazing through my eyes
I see a hand reaching out to me
With a voice saying "My son, come back to me"

I broke down in tears
As I held His hand with my blood all over
He spoke to me and said
"You are loved by My love"

I repented for what I did
And after hearing His voice and holding His hand
I found the courage to keep on living
And endure the journey no matter what the circumstances

I have finally broken my silence
With open wounds, dry blood, and a used knife
My eyes were staring at my limbs
I broke down in tears with agony

I knew I am loved by a God who loves me for who I am
I just didn't see it
After months of agony
I have found a reason why I deserve to live
After I found out Chester Bennington committed suicide, I was devastated and heartbroken. It did hurt me cause I am a Linkin Park fan, and I know it did hurt any Linkin Park fans out there. At the end of the day, there is hope. Our hope is in our God Almighty up in heaven. I'm not here to change religion, but my intention here is to share my experience and be a living testimony through my poems. John 3:16.
Matthew Chen
Written by
Matthew Chen  Far From Somewhere
(Far From Somewhere)   
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