I thrashed and thralled in the fear of love and it landed me on the cusp of this cliff kissing the edge of deep waters I am not sure I will be able to swim in.

A body of water where diving in makes me more uncomfortable than anything I have ever known - despite my hesitance, my partner? They jumped.

Now that they have dived, and are swimming and exploring... I am left uncomfortable and having to decide if this is a push for me to expand into that discomfort or if what I need is a relationship where it is only I that he is adoring.

Perhaps... I need to dance with reality -- that the dive and deep waters destablized us...which no longer nourishes me.

I stand along the cliff looking into the water - seeing my partner floating, glowing, enjoying the waves washing over him. Through him.

I want to jump- I want to dive in and be with it all.

But the cusp of the cliff has me linger on it's kiss once more.

With a sigh, I blow a kiss to the partner I know I will miss, and make my way to the car door.