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Nov 2017
I'm tired of pouring my heart out
to one word
replies.

I'm tired of feeling
so
much
for you to feel
nothing.

And when I wake up
alone
and you wake up
with her,
I know you won't be thinking
of me.

And when I tell you
I can't talk
to you anymore
because it makes the breath
in my lungs
turn to concrete
and the air around my body
turn to
stone,
you tell me
"I understand".

And there I am,
the utterances
dripping off
my lips
and running down my chest,
an ugly black
reminder of the
honesty I felt comfortable sharing.

You sit emotionless.

You can't be empty now,
I'm empty.

Fill me up.

In response to my heart break
you share
only one short reply
reminding me that
my
utter
hatred
of the lack of us
is directed
exactly where it should be.

I'm ******* tired.

Please
don't
shut
down.

Don't turn off toward me,
turn on.
Open up.
Tell me you hate me,
tell me I'm ugly,
tell me I'm an
irrelevant part
of your life.
Do as you have previously done
and tell
me I
will always have a
special
place in your heart.

A place where
good things
go
to die.

A place where I can
remember that
we were
never going to last.

A special place
that screams
a solem
"The End".

But for God's sake
do not
feed me silence.

I have felt those lips,
those arms,
that chest.

I have felt you,
I have heard you,
You are real.

Please
don't
dissapear
on
me
now.

Do not.
go away.
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