it happens quicker than you think
one day you're floating above the world in a euphoric cloud
and then you realize that your friends have all gone out without you
multiple times
and you're torn between wanting to acknowledge it and make them feel bad for leaving you out
and
wanting to leave them all behind and isolate yourself more

"how dare you talk to me," you want to scream at them when they approach you the next day
but the words die in your mouth and you're left blankly staring at them, a fake smile ready to curl your mouth

so what if you shed a few tears,
it's not like they cared anyway