I wish I was a musician, Wrote riffs for my guitar, Earned loads of cash, looked like Slash, And drove a fancy car. I wish I was an artist, Created worlds with paint, Banksy as my bro, a huge afro, At my feet London would faint. I wish I was an actor, For all the world's a stage, I'd win awards, tread the West End boards, And make 'portly' all the rage. It's pants being a poet, Scribbling odes year after year, But I'm not flighty, I can write in my nightie, And post it all on here.