Missing you.

They say it ends
but I know it doesn't.

I have felt a slow change over time.
I have felt a few moments of freedom...
freedom from the crippling pain
that is dreaming of your arms wrapped around me
and waking up cold and alone.
But it never leaves completely.
It never will.
It ebbs and flows
like a river...
gentle some days,
ferocious and unrelenting others.

You'll never leave me.
Even when I am completely moved on.
Even when I've found other blissful happiness
like the kind we used to know.
Even when I'm old and grey.
You'll haunt me still.

Because you can't rid yourself of forever.
You can't rid yourself of what was supposed to be
and then wasn't.

Each day, I have to remember and readjust
to this new world
that is not ours together.
I know that many years from now
I'll still wake up in the middle of the night
screaming because I've returned to a life without you.