You come home from the war At least a third emptier than you were, Like all the words were scooped from your head With the **** of a rifle That you constructed with your own hands And demolished too, Leaving so much of yourself in the barrel.
The teeth in your gums white crosses and country lines, None of them belonging to you anymore, Rattle like augury bones in your sleep Because in the night you are some twisted, ugly thing Like a trout gasping for breath on the floor of a fishing boat, Running from the yawning mouth at your heart To get away from what remains here : A battlefield.
You come home from the war and leave your love behind In the hands of a poet, A soldier whose eyes stare out at you in each nightmare The claiming mark of his blood splattered across your face and emblazoned on your soul, His smile tinged mustard yellow in your memory But his hands so vivid; Pencil, pages, and the pistol, Flickering Callouses against your cheek Trampled into the mud Sonnets painted into your skin Frozen in his favourite shade of indigo.
You are dreaming of the hospital that had become, By virtue of his presence, Your home - And here is the battlefield stretched out again before you But you are tired of fighting without him, Waiting for one more cloudless day in August, 50 years away he is a bruise in khaki pyjamas,
And you come home from the war, finally, into his arms.
A meditation on Wilfred Owen and Siegfried Sassoon.