ever say it's just been one of those days but you won't expain what you mean cause you know it will hurt the people around you I did yesterday I just wanted to be alone all night but I had to work and I wanted to bawl like a baby but it is NOT okay to cry in front of people so I cried myself to sleep alone up in my room so no one could see my weakness and no one could see me craddeled up in a ball cause I had too much pain to want to care about anyone at all I wanted to die I couldn't though so I cried, cried, cried until all the pain was out of me but see that didn't last long it came back why does God hate me why do I have so much pain inside that never seems to permanatly leave I don't wanna be like this it ain't my goal in life to feel like... this I dont know what I feel so I can't really explain but ****** it's back again and it needs to go but it won't see it is like a blood ******* demon who has attached itself to me and it won't leave so I fix pain with pain but not a blade hot water on the skin stings just enough to take my mind off the pain inside cause it is on the outside