I wish

I wished for you when I was 5
And you came to me
You were still alive

I wished for you when I was 7
I missed you deep
But you'd gone to heaven

I wished for you when i turned 18
I had lost control
Didn't know where I'd been

I wished for you when I turned 25
When I'd jumped to end things
But remained alive

I wished for you when I was 28
And I was in love
I thought it was fate

I wished for you when my heart fell out
Smashed on the floor
I couldn't search you out

I wished for you in my 30th year
So lost and alone
Feeling nothing but fear

I wished for you but I'd lost control
Too many drugs
My life a lost soul

I wish for you now but I know you won't come
My life is my fault
What is done is done