Every time I think of you, I still hold my breath
Not because I am awestruck
But grief stricken.
I never told the world my words,
My silence held me in a darkness that I relished in
The brightness of the truth hurt more than anything I could imagine.

I wish I would have told you,
The language I fought so hard to keep buried,
Wants to come and choke me for concealing it.

Why,
What did I do to you?
Tell me how much I messed up so I can blame myself,
It's easier than blaming you.

You still take my breath away,
You grab my throat and slam me against the ground,
I am purple and blue.
You walk away unscathed and unaffected.
You always told me I looked good in those colors.

You leave me breathless
I have no way to tell you now
I just want you to know how much I loved you.