I was in the twilight of my life, and the charming person I met along the road was my only dawn. At night, I fall asleep with images of myself, swaying and smiling with them... you I wished over and over and over again, that smashed yet sparkling me could stop loving you, darling. I want nothing and everything with you. It completely scares me. I had nightmares of becoming a beautiful yet tragic poet, but upon meeting you I saw those dreams spread like the billion stars in the night sky. Honestly, I didn't mind because I know that all it takes is getting all you ever wanted, and then completely losing it to know what you can be. Years of being on a never-ending world journey and my memories of you were the only things that persisted me, and my only blissful moments. When the people I used to live around discovered what I have been doing, and whom I have been kissing, what I’ve been drinking, and how I'd been living, they asked me, “What the hell are you thinking? However, there's no use to talking with people who have a home. Every experience was fire itself and that terrified me yet helped me obsess for freedom, dear. These faint-hearted mice do not know what it's like to find safety in other people - for ‘home’ to be wherever or whomever you want. I want an honest compass pointing me anywhere but I have an indecisiveness inside me that is as wild and wavering as the sea. I always had this fiery madness intimately inside me it dizzied me and then you tossed gasoline on it and it dazed me. I think I was born to be the other woman. The woman that belongs to everyone and no one at the same time, merely emptying herself to please others. But then I start to believe that I am my own woman. And that wonderful tease in control and loving the war I created with myself. I adore being the unrequited one in particular. You are my coffee but I feel like the mistreated coffee machine. Thank you for my dreamy blues.