I wish I could explain to you how my heart changes
Daily\ by the minute
When I see you across the way,
my view obscured by a wall; which seems fitting
A wall seems to keep us apart [endlessly]
Your end or mine
Its easier, we agree
What is it that keeps me so far you ask?
ME
There is something surrounding my heart
Malleable and breathing
Alive and keeping me together somehow
I've let it open a few times
To let someone in, to let you in.
But every time, without fail, something changes
You got to my heart and it burned in the most beautiful light
Coming in, you made it good, and happiness was real
It was when you left that things got bad
I left myself open for too long and lost myself over time
Bits and pieces fell out slowly, scattering itself
Now my heart is incomplete, more so than usual
I'm not blaming you
I souly point the finger at myself
I shouldn't have opened up to begin with
You want me to be honest and transparent,
but since closing back up, my heart has turned dark and mucky
Unable to be seen through clearly
I try to be honest, but  the current truths get blindsided by the past lies
I don't mean to do all the damage I caused
To you or me
I wish this was a real apology, for I know it changes nothing
Me continuing to be closed off
I’m sorry.