They deserve better than I can be.
How many times I have just wanted to shoot myself!
It would save them the trouble of having to deal with me.
I can’t give them what they want
I can barely give them what they need
I don’t know how to do this;
My monthly income barely covers what everyone needs.
I am so tired,
I give my all but it is not enough!

Maybe God does not like me!
It’s the truth.
I am a divorced mother of four.
I have no family no help.
I already work two jobs at least seventy-five hours a week.
I have no time to sleep.
When I do I have night terrors.
My husband did not want me.
Why would anyone else?

My kids!
They love me but they go without things they need.
I am about to pick up the third job tomorrow.
I can’t do anything right and I am ugly.
Tell me he loves me?
No one loves me!

I have begged God for years
Where was he when I lived on the streets when I was twelve?
Where was he when I was ***** when I was seventeen?
Where was he when I needed him to take me from my husband?
And was stabbed two times in the chest and one time in the kidney?
Where was he when my husband punctured my lung and broke my ribs?
Where is he now?
When I am out of medication and have no help no family?

Who will save my ten years daughter from the devil eyes of my best friend?
Who I already had to sleep with!
Nothing to tell anymore!

I  am alone!
I will always be alone…
I am but a speck of dirt to God.
All who are heavy burdened, come to me and I will give you rest.
I use to be a Sunday school teacher.

I am sorry!
I am so sorry!!
Rah maybe God will help me one day!
I wish God will take my life ***** away.
He is the Almighty.
Yes, I do believe in one God.
He will help me!