they say that those who love us the most have the most claim on us.
maybe they were right.


(if i can't have you here, take me with you how dare you ******* leave me you selfish *******) (but you're still here with me, aren't you? even though you've become one with the earth—i'm so ******* jealous my blood is boiling why can't you just be satisfied being one with me, in me: your lips your tongue your fingers your fist your **** let me in your ribs let me kiss your non-beating heart—you live in the walls, you are the phantom in the shadows long after i've turned the lights off before i go to sleep you live even in the curves of the cutlery, in the shattered pieces of your mug, in the hidden bottom of our bedside table, under the bed, on our sheets, in every strand of my hair—you are here, yet you are nowhere—like air—and you never planned to leave me alone at all, did you darling)