you have me,
but i'm not sure
if i have you, though.

i paused.
it's thirteen minutes past twelve in the morning and i was on top of you. your steady breaths and the ticking of the clock was all i can hear. a sweat trickled down my bare chest as you stare longingly. the moans and the word 'faster' didn't fill the room anymore.

"what's wrong?" you asked.

every night is a bittersweet reality, something that i would think of as a chimera full of used underwear.  every night is a catharsis; i knew, the way 'babe' escaped from your lips arousingly when i go further tells me so. every night our souls would crash briefly, but every tomorrow i see myself on the mirror and the word 'temporary' is etched on my face. you ****** your way into my heart, that's what's wrong and i didn't even know it. i was too caught up with the thought of your tongue exploring my restless body.

you paused, placed me on your side, and stood up.

tonight, you smoked away the last stick of hope i had on the side of my bed; where you reside after everytime we did it. tonight, you're moving out.

you'll always have me, but i'll never have you, though.