He was a taller and much thinner black bearded roommate in the place I went when I could not face reality. He snorted, coughed, and hacked while I tried to sleep. Someone once told me that he didn’t shower because beneath his beard and sweat stained Tee there were some painful burns. I do not know his name. Still, I hope he found some semblance of peace that even I have yet to claim.
Older man in the same facility fifty to sixty something, walking with a slight spinal curve and wearing his cleanly pressed black button up shirt along with his folded at the seams to tight blue jeans, seams normal enough, but I hear him sing Conway Twitty’s “That’s My Job” constantly. Somebody told me when he was younger he watched his father plant his face on a cold metal rail and let a train smash out his brains.
Farther back when I was barely seven I knew a sweet long haired man who wore a dress and pushed an empty stroller. He could have been transgender then, but I did not have the experience to know or desire to classify or judge him. Twenty years later with seventy-five miles between me and that city I met a stranger who came from there. Jokingly to prove I was from the same place, I mentioned that man. She gave me a name that I had never asked for, told me that he was a veteran from one of those horrible wars, and that Jet had died a while ago.
I knew an angry lady, violent, frustrated, face curled in rage because she hated some unexplained pain. She taught me to love music but despite the sweet and safe melodies of those old time songs we both used to move to I can still feel the fear, and swollen skin, the loneliness, and hurt that she buried within. She was as I am now living but broken.