Where are thou, O Childhood of mine?
Did you bury the years of despise and despair?

Anger took the best of me, quiet in a room,
diggin' deep a hole, preparing my own funeral.
I gave up living, while feeding the Demons in my mind,
I went berserk and crazy too, but oh so perfect I behaved for you.
I was a good boy, decent, easy, beautiful and chaotic inside,
my heart closed, a Spirit drowning, yet none could see,
for unfortunately it is but rather normal, that all are "mental".

Oh those years of isolation, I found the virtual and lower pleasures, my only consolation. Friends were gone, a brother out having his fun, and a family blinded by their sickness. O I pitied myself. I wanted to destroy everyone! Hatred grew. Anger raged! Love dead and I truly became a Starving Vampire! I loved the night, I lived in the dark and I could not stand the Sun and I despised the day. I, like the Vampire, needed my blood, the drug to silence the wolves inside.

Divided I was, torn inside, an Angel and Demon fought their Battle, for never did I totally surrender, to a dark and rebellious force, but never did I give in to a light and giving love. Standing with one leg on each side I never did commit, and Truth had to come in a very strong way.

Now, older, yet still a child, I receive back my lonely days. I live the Manifestation of a sick and ignorant mind, and I walk through the isolation of a desperate soul screaming to connect and participate in the World.

Hope is ahead. I am re-minding my mind to remind itself of who I AM and that such silly desires to exclude myself of a World and Civilization is nothing but destructiveness and childish ideas. I welcome my Childhood, as it lives in each of us, burning to break free and rediscover itself beyond a child's ignorant mind. I begin to see with the Eyes of Spirit and I re-embrace it all in the Name of Freedom and Mastery.

Healing. Liberating. Mastery. Responsibility. A New Chance and New Beginning.

Adonai!...