it's like i have it all
good grades, a job, a roof over my head, a family who loves me, a boyfriend who i love more than life itself - a feeling that is reciprocated tenfold.

yet

i feel the shadow of an emptiness that i can't seem to fill
the remnants of a sadness that was once so profound still linger in my consciousness and
although small
are mighty
they are capable of eating me alive and my soul drowns in their waters
i feel as if i don't deserve the good i have
i feel as if i don't deserve the love that is given to me
i thank the powers that be for everything that i have
yet
if i say this out loud
i think i seem ungrateful