I realize things aren't getting better
We aren't getting better and freeze
Glaciers wrestling the rocks
Believing that somehow we can make this work
Even when you don't even want to
Even when you want to die
Even though we all want to give up all the luggage we carry
And give our tight shoulders a rest
And give in to the feelings of insecurities in our chest
We want to rot
But the truth is
Every day on the calendar isn't a number, it's your name
And I'm living for you

I'm sweating bullets at the sound of your gun
Maybe this wasn't love maybe it was all fun
But it's not funny anymore looking down your Barrel
Wondering if I'll ever know how to feel
And if my feelings were real
And if you'll be missing me while you hide my corpse