I feel so stupid. I'm angry. I thought I knew you, the deepest parts of you. How could you do this? How could she do this? The same place we had done it before. There I was sound asleep in my bed, probably dreaming about a future with you.. and you.. you were with her. Maybe it would be easier if I knew you did it to hurt me.. I know you made a mistake, but that mistake is killing me. I can't breathe or speak or do anything without thinking about that night. About you and her. Together. It's been months since it happened, and last night is the first I'm hearing of it. What, were you just planning to keep this frok me forever? Every moment you looked in my eyes and told me you love me and that I'm the most beautiful girl in the world, every time you held me and told me I'm your only.. those things aren't true. They were lies. These past three months have just been one clusterfuck of a lie. I want to *****. I want to scream and yell and cry and laugh at myself for being such a ******* fool. I love you, I always will, but is that enough? What if this pain is stronger than our love? What if I can never be with you again without thinking about her? Have I wasted more than a year of my life? Has all of this been for nothing? My mind is spinning and running and jumping up and down with thoughts and emotions that I am too ******* overwhelmed to process. So I will just go on with my day, and smile, like th content little girl they want me to be. It's easier that way, right?