i want to unzip myself
and throw away the vile contents,
throw it somewhere i can forget it all exists.
throw away the reminders.
throw the unknowing blank faces.
throw away what they would do to me
once they knew:
how hard i was sinking under everything they needed me to be,
how i'm only living half alive,
how much i hate their unawareness
to every baseless "i'm fine" and "i'm okay."
they would throw me deeper down
into this hole i've tried to stay content in.
but my hands are caked in dirt,
and my chest surely will sink me
if i don't shed these pieces of me soon.