there has been a silence in my life
that has been ringing  
with the furor
of gunshots.

the hot-smoked blow of air
giving birth to death in metal -

and my ears bleed a red
more red than blood.

i am deaf to all reason and numb to every feeling.

i am a doll made of dirt
and fake gold.

no marks of teeth will ever scar me.

i stand proudly with a broken back
smiling
even though
there's nothing to live for.