i want to bleed until i'm beautiful

the more my life flows from the rips in my flesh
the closer i'll be to the only way i can be pretty

i want you to love me like a cassette tape

passionately and wholly, burning in your soul
until the tape unwinds
and you have no more use for me
use me up, and spit me out, baby

i want to cry myself to death
i want to scream and bellow and wail until there's no sound left
no more tears to cry
no more whimpers to squeak out
and the anguish is so much i can feel it in my bones
and i lay there dry heaving, my stomach sore and my eyes puffy and red

                                                and i look at myself
                                                       you pathetic ******* coward
                                                               real men dont ******* cry
                                                                       cover your arms, boy.
nobody wants to see that ****.

i want to die, you ******* idiot. there's nothing beautiful about that.