the reflection back
doesn't reflect how I feel
when my phone rang
and you answered and said
"you're my everything,
my one and only"
my heart wasn't hard to steal
peace of mind from what you told me
folded the papers
which were notes you wrote me
but with you, I still felt lonely
then came the day
you texted me to say hey
but I knew things were shaking
inside your head a storm erupted
tried to ask but you spoke nothing
days went by
everyday I cried
worried for you
still had no clue
what was running through your mind
you could see the future
as I stood back blind
finally you had the urge to text me
and I died a little inside
when I read the message that said
you didn't want to be mine
I know you feel trapped
stuck in a religious war
you seek to escape your life
a religious thunderstorm
I can't even imagine
a life full of control
can't create your own path
or own story to be told
and I was foolish to think
that we could stay together and grow old
almost as foolish as a candle shining
outside when it starts to snow
or thinking we were on the same page
or that all your thoughts were made known
and you liked me but still tried to mold me
into something I could never be
transformed my thoughts into ones less happy
but I wasn't happy because I wasn't the old me
and you no longer cared for me
cause I went against what you told me
I didn't let you manipulate and fold me
and I no longer loved you fully
I became your dreaded past
you became my bully
and at night I have thoughts
that always rush through me
they keep me up at times I know they shouldn't
so hard to sleep when you feel so foolish
you shot the gun
and I bit the bullet
at times I considered your words deadly
now lately you've been dead to me
constantly talking and always complaining
I was slowly becoming the negativity
you tried to make me
but I still wish I had the chance to express myself
many things I could tell you
things that would provide help
I would have so many things to tell you
and so many things to say
but the first question I'd ask is:
"why do you make me feel this way?"