I woke up 30 minutes earlier
than usual
with a bladder of **** about
to explode out of me.
An entire 12 pack in one night,
that **** again.
Nothing new.
Not even hungover.

I lost my mind over some stupid
****,
childish ****, crazy-type ****,
and sat bare-*** on the
bathroom floor at 6:30 in the morning
with my ***** resting on the
cold wooden (and new, I might add) floor.

It's stupid, I knew that,
and still do,
but it's definable and measurable
and if it's measured,
to me,
it's real.
As anything.

I sat on that floor
and felt my converter kicking on.
You know,
that mechanism that takes ****
and turns it into gold?

I know it's stupid,
but forgive me for being honest,
or don't.
Fling **** at me,
do it,
******* do it
****.

Talk to others
if that's what you want to do,
is that how that works?
I don't actually know.
Unfounded? Maybe.
But that's only part of it.

Time is precious.
If I'm not worth yours,
how can I give you mine?
That's ok.
Fine.
That's the real issue.
Forget it.

My **** converter is on,
I know where all of these
energies go,
I know how this goes for me.