i felt them sputter in and out of life between my fingers little tails twitched-twitc-twitched then lay still and dormant as a bulb in winter. fur glistened with blood and i wondered what it means to have life and why god has means to take it away. lives are like candles, blow on them too hard and they sputter out. only those narcissistic enough to relight themselves stay here on this earth and keep burning away in pain until they're naught but ashes on the ground. or in it. so i'll light a light for the lights that died in my hands last night, the stench of afterbirth and sour blood infiltrating every sense i have. i will not soon forget that dismal dark.
piglets and their mother died last night. i had to help butcher the mom's body and i am so sickened i can barely function....