Mar 2017
Welcome everybody to the most exciting event of your lives.
Welcome one and all, and thank you so much for attending my funeral!
And I know you’re probably confused as to why this is an exciting event, but believe me, this is an event you do not want to miss!!
Make sure that when attending my funeral, that you do not wear formal clothing, and do not wear black.
I want you, to wear the most colorful thing you can find in your closets. I want my funeral to have so much colour!
There will be so much rainbow, that my funeral could be the set for a Skittles commercial!
Die with the rainbow, Taste the rainbow!
I, of course will not be dressed formal.
I’ll be working a pair of sweats, a t-shirt, an open jacket and a snapback turned at 180 degrees, because IT LOOKS AWESOME!
You all should also look as amazing as I do. But do not, under any circumstances look better than I do.
Remember, this is still MY day, I am the most important thing in this room, Why?!!??
Because I’m super dead!
Side note: I’m afraid of dying…
But it’s not like that matters anymore, because I’M DEAD. Literally living my eternal fear. (Or dying in my eternal fear.)
Anyway!! Another rule! Do not… get drunk on my funeral day. You MUST be sober, in order to fully experience this event for what it is. And what is it?? A celebration!!!
Why would anybody celebrate MY death, you ask?
This question has a simple answer: I don’t want you to cry at my funeral…
I want you to laugh, I want you to laugh so much, that you end up crying anyway. Laugh because even though a journey has ended, it ended on a good note.
I want you to party! Dance until your tire of moving! And when you dance.
Tell yourself that you feel good.
Because even though I’m dead, I’m thankful that you came to my funeral.
Enjoy the celebration.
And if, you write my eulogy, write about the times I made you laugh, or the times I won medals, or hugged you so tight because I really didn’t want to let go until I had to.
Don’t write that you’re sorry, or that I deserved more time, or that I’m in a better place now.
Thank you, for everything. And my last gift to you is giving you a reason to be happy in a time of sorrow.
Be happy knowing that you got to be a part of my life. Because I’m happy knowing that I was part of yours.
Welcome one and all, and thank you so much for attending my funeral!
And I know you’re probably confused as to why this is an exciting event, but believe me, this is an event you do not want to miss!!
Make sure that when attending my funeral, that you do not wear formal clothing, and do not wear black.
I want you, to wear the most colorful thing you can find in your closets. I want my funeral to have so much colour!
There will be so much rainbow, that my funeral could be the set for a Skittles commercial!
Die with the rainbow, Taste the rainbow!
I, of course will not be dressed formal.
I’ll be working a pair of sweats, a t-shirt, an open jacket and a snapback turned at 180 degrees, because IT LOOKS AWESOME!
You all should also look as amazing as I do. But do not, under any circumstances look better than I do.
Remember, this is still MY day, I am the most important thing in this room, Why?!!??
Because I’m super dead!
Side note: I’m afraid of dying…
But it’s not like that matters anymore, because I’M DEAD. Literally living my eternal fear. (Or dying in my eternal fear.)
Anyway!! Another rule! Do not… get drunk on my funeral day. You MUST be sober, in order to fully experience this event for what it is. And what is it?? A celebration!!!
Why would anybody celebrate MY death, you ask?
This question has a simple answer: I don’t want you to cry at my funeral…
I want you to laugh, I want you to laugh so much, that you end up crying anyway. Laugh because even though a journey has ended, it ended on a good note.
I want you to party! Dance until your tire of moving! And when you dance.
Tell yourself that you feel good.
Because even though I’m dead, I’m thankful that you came to my funeral.
Enjoy the celebration.
And if, you write my eulogy, write about the times I made you laugh, or the times I won medals, or hugged you so tight because I really didn’t want to let go until I had to.
Don’t write that you’re sorry, or that I deserved more time, or that I’m in a better place now.
Thank you, for everything. And my last gift to you is giving you a reason to be happy in a time of sorrow.
Be happy knowing that you got to be a part of my life. Because I’m happy knowing that I was part of yours.
I can only hope my thanatophobic tendencies can make for a good laugh in good poetry.
