It's something in the finite way
The dreariness of where you thought we once stood
But I always had my own shield on my back
Prepared for my own flight.

It's something in the way that you talk about yourself
And the way it influenced me
To the point of close humiliation
In the verbiage of representation
A heeded warning from a dear old friend
That shook me to the bone
But what you couldn't see
Is that you negatively influenced me.

It's the wonderment of the moments
Where our companionship made us feel less alone
Only for me to lock myself away in the cocoon of my room
For little
For a lot.

It was the newness, the beginning
Of trying everything on and finding
That perhaps you aren't my type of tea
And those that choose to stand next to me
Will never see or appreciate it clearly
So I digress in what I experienced
And saw and felt
Sweet or bitter
As if it was a lost letter
Forgotten and taken by a monsoon.

It's always been about you
And your face
My movements only matter
If they include you
And thats where I draw the line
A million times
Because it was never, ever
About hidden egos
And the crumbs you sought
Even after they were crumbs
Because you cannot hold onto
Your own heart
And head.

So no,
I won't be there
Not anymore.