"Steve" is a diamond geezer "Stevie" can do no wrong "Stephen" is in real trouble But they all just want to get along
So whatever you think of him Whenever he comes into sight He'll give you a hug and he'll buy you a drink And you'll be in for a heck of a night
Thank you Anton for the inspiration. (You need to say the names in different tones when reading this: 'Steve' in a deep east end of London accent. 'Stevie' in a cutesy voice. 'Stephen' in that voice your mum used when she found you still in bed at midday. There you go.)