What I would have done,
For you.

A quiet knocking on the door,
A quiet rapping through the floor
A quiet voice sweet and soft
Growing louder, hard to ignore.

I hide under the sheets,
Terror fleeting,
Numb and unprepared,
Even as I know I must,
I twist and turn and-
I can’t hold back
My life will change

I tried to close the door,
To stifle that tapping under that floor-
I guarded my heart
But walls and sheets are closing fast
None of this safety can last

I know I must turn
So many moments pushing through
My entire future, fading past
I know what I must do,
I must go with you.

I know what we will be
I will change for you
I cannot be free
It will never again just be me
I would do anything to protect you
Change my life to be with you

But as I reach-
As I tell you what I will do
What this love is that I feel for you

Suddenly jaded, crushed and worn
Bearing under that deep, rank well of guilt
You are pulled away
Screaming and tearing

A darkening wave of blood- and so many tears
Every single one of my worst fears
Sad, sick and twisted turn of fate
I wasn’t ready for you
And now I’m much, much too late.

They tell me I couldn’t have stopped it,
I couldn’t have protected you.
“I need to feel in order to heal”
But there is no knocking on the door,
No quiet rapping through the floor.
Nothing…. no quiet voice,
                      No one is asking anymore.