Sometimes the fear of living
Felt to me too much to bear
I was drowning in reality
My suffering seemed unfair

I could not understand it
I replayed every scene
Deep into my dark nightmares
All my ifs and might have beens

I turned over but one question
Where had it all gone wrong
Nothing quite made sense to me
Like some discordant song

The winds of shame were blowing
Carrying autumn leaves of pain
Raining down tears of heartbreak
I made the same mistakes again

Blind to all life's goodness
I discarded happy thoughts
I learned well the lessons
That my misery had taught

Sinking in my addictions
Numbed without control
I could not fight my demons
So I let them take my soul