Just when you believe you have been through your worst moments, when you believe your heart has been broken beyond repair, just when that glue is starting to set it is smashed apart again.. You start to see that it is your hands that has inflected this pain apon yourself.. maybe as a self-definse mechanism from letting you get your heart broke in the first place, or maybe your scared that you can't live up and be that person she dreamed of being with forever and letting her down.. you sit their humming yourself to sleep only wishing you were dreaming and would wake up.. yet it starts to set in, your realize you have ****** up.. nothing you say or do will ever make the torment go away. Even though she is still right by yourside in your  head this future event has already happened but you are the one making it by believing your visions are not changeable and so you have become ****** at the world and everybody.. letting your world slip away, letting your demons win and control your mind.. becoming pretty much a wasted piece of flesh.. and the more you start to realize the deeper you end up burying yourself because you can't believe what you have become and you hate yourself for it... ah if love was simple..