There are days I am happy. So happy I am convinced I have ridden every part of him left on my skin.

But then, there are nights my body collapses under the weight of heartbreak and it feels as though the only way to recover is him.

There is no balance.
There is no reason.

I wake up every morning wondering what type of day I will have. And whether or not my night will end in heartache.

I can't seem to wrap my head around why it's still like this. He hurt me so much I should hate him but I can't because I still love him. Even after everything.

Love really does outweigh hate.