Some days I feel less than I am.
Most days I feel less than I could be.
Everyday I'm never as I should be.

There's this pain deep in me that's unrelenting;
Never can I **** it off all the way.
I do find ways to dull it... to take the edge off:
Video games
Baseball
History
Poetry
Friends


But it's never enough.
The pain comes from that gap, that separation, between my soul and You.

I know our relationship isn't as it should be... that terrible gap in it... I know Your Son bridges it and Your Spirit holds it eternally.
But I have fled from You. I'm not asking for forgiveness from You. Not yet, I'm still unrepentant.
I'm asking for You to break through my solid walls; nobody else can.

You are God, I am but flesh and dust.
Hear me.