I don't remember when I first started to fall in love with you. It might've started the first time we spoke but it's December now and I'm trying to forget.


You don't want to remember, but it's hard, you know. It's like all of the things we prayed for never came, and I try not to blame any one thing– I don't believe in that.


It's always a chain of things that causes an ending like ours.


Sometimes I close my eyes, shut them tight and pretend that things are the way they were in June, in September.


Cold weather drives me towards insanity. I'm closer to tears than before. The loss of warmth reminds me of everything else I lost. And since it's December now, I'm trying to forget. I'm trying!


I’m holding still, unsure if the snow that falls is a miracle or a warning sign. Either way I think it's as pretty as you were to me back then.


I'm still afraid of telling anyone you are the reason why I can't breathe. I can't sleep either because when I do I'm left to dream of the words you said to me when all was well.


All is no longer well.


I am forced to live a life forgery. Happy, happy, I am- not freaking happy with the way this mess of ours turned out. I'm still juggling the spheres of pain that collected like, I don't know, like the snow did? Like the snow did on my front lawn, it collects and everything seems so white and bright and I'm left blind in the empty spaces with no warmth. no love.


Will you show me how broken hearts beat when the world feels barren?


My thoughts are spilling.


My words aren't working, but I just wanted to love you.


Skinny love, maybe this won't be what I had wanted but I'll pretend to forget I ever loved you until the day I die. I mean, it's December now and I'm trying to forget.


Look. Look here, I'm just someone who wanted to love you. But it’s December now and I’m trying to forget.


Because, what else is their to do when the world is this cold?


Certainly not remember…