Keep your stamps and letters
Don't invite me to a meeting
If you keep them coming
I'll treat you to a beating

Groups all seem to want me
But the feeling's not the same
Go and find your mailing list
And please remove my name

oh....
I won't join any club that would have me as a member
I've a memory like an elephant
so, don't send me application forms
Because you know I will remember

Oh, It must be freezing down  in hell
In fact it must be snowing
I came today, just to say
Hello, I must be going

Don't ask me to sign up again
Please don't be deluded
Check your list and you'll find me
In the column marked excluded

Oh
I won't join any club that would have me as a member
I've a memory like an elephant
so, don't send me application forms
Because you know I will remember

Oh, It must be freezing down in hell
In fact it must be snowing
I came today, just to say
Hello, I must be going

Save your money, save your stamps
You know just what to do
Stop calling, stop the letters
Please, I'm asking you

The only group with membership
Costs me more, due to my brothers
Is family, and even then
I think we had different mothers

oh,I won't join any club that would have me as a member
I've a memory like an elephant
so, don't send me application forms
Because you know I will remember

Oh, It must be freezing down in hell
In fact it must be snowing
I came today, just to say
Hello, I must be going

I will not join any club that would have me as a member
I'll tell you now, and then again, I'll tell you in September
The world is a much better place, if on your list my name's not showing
So here I am, with you to say...Hello, I must be going